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 "Who the hell is Dr. Logan?!" It's a question we at Lazy Bear Productions are often asked. Mostly by our mothers who wonder why we're writing skits for him instead of taking up architecture or working at a bank. If you're a newcomer to the Lazy Bear universe, you may easily get confused by the constant references to characters from our past movies. So provided here is a list of all the major characters from our films, comics, stories, etc. Learn them well, or face the embarrassment! Dr. Logan
Love Though he claims to be an expert on "the womens", he's rarely seen with a member of the opposite sex. Or even a member of the same sex. While he's often been romantically linked to Wanda Cumgetsome, he's too attached to the swingin' single life to stay tied down for long.
Origin: When Lazy Bear Co-Founder Ryan DiGiorgi set out to produce a Halloween parody for government access TV, he asked other Lazy Bear Co-Founder Logan Lee to play an eccentric doctor character in classic B movie tradition. After finally making his way through Logan's thick wall of lawyers, the two came to an agreement and Dr. Logan of Blender Agenda was born. Actually, the moniker of "Dr. Love" had been given to Logan long before by his Spanish teacher Mrs. Phillips. Needless to say, lawsuits are pending. Despite the fact that he died in his debut project, the doctor quickly became Logan's goto character, appearing in several prequels and eventually getting a name change to Dr. Logan Love (Dr. Love for short) to appeal to a broader audience. If any Lazy Bear character has the potential for a myriad number of annoying and increasingly less funny sequels, it's Dr. Love. We just hope we're rich by the time everyone's tired of him. Portrayed by: Logan Lee Appears in Personal Quote Sid Sheplar AKA Origin: Ryan based Sid loosely on Bert Schnick, Barry Humphries' character from Shock Treatment. Both guys have vaguely European accents and shiny jackets. But Ryan developed the character into an original and complex creation...or at least as original and complex as one can get in a five minute short. Sid's wacky inventions and homespun foreign charm have made him Ryan's Dr. Love. Unfortunately, the iconic jacket that was instrumental in Sid's creation has since been lost, but the Lazy Bear crew is working to reproduce it as well as to develop the rest of Sid's costume so he can appear in future side-splitting Lazy Bear productions. Portrayed by: Ryan DiGiorgi Appears in Personal Quote Ryan Origin: Ryan is, to no one's surprise, based on Ryan DiGiorgi. Rather than come up with an original character to act as a straight man to Dr. Love's antics, Ryan chose to follow in the big Italian footsteps of Tony Danza and make a career out of essentially playing himself. Both Ryans are amiable chaps, known for goofy t-shirts and a willingness to indulge folks in their lunacy. Portrayed by: Ryan DiGiorgi Appears in Personal Quote Logan Origin: Although it's actually his favorite character to play, we don't see as much of "Logan" as we do of "Ryan" because Logan (the actor) more often finds himself playing the screwball Dr. Love. But when we do, it's sure to be a treat. The Logan character alternates between straight man and comic, but always brings a certain indispensable classy charm to the table. Oh, who are we kidding? It's just Logan. Portrayed by: Logan Lee Appears in Personal Quote Kyle Origin: When Tommy Paige caught strep throat and was unable to play Ryan's sidekick in Blender Agenda, Kyle Coker stepped into the role that would make history. His deadpan performance, constant improvised eating, and reluctance to take any direction made him the breakout talent of the film, and many fans' favorite Lazy Bear character. Portrayed by: Kyle Coker Appears in Wanda Cumgetsome Origin: Wanda is the official Lazy Bear prostitute. She's been a running gag among the Lazy Bear Players since they were in middle school. It should be noted that while Ryan played her in Dr. Logan's Day Out, he was merely portraying Wanda. We had a girl lined up to play her, complete with French maid outfit, but she backed out at the last minute. Story of our lives. We haven't written her into anything recently, but rest assured, as long as sex is funny, she'll be back. Portrayed by: Ryan DiGiorgi Appears in Personal Quote Matt the Library
Guy AKA Origin: Matt was roped into an appearance in Blender Agenda while the crew was at the library for preliminary filming. His status as the only actor in the film who had no idea what was going on gained him a cult following (and by that we mean Olivia) among Lazy Bear diehards. These loyal Mattiacs keep Logan, Ryan, and the rest of the crew up to speed on all things Matt including his former band Subsonic, while the man himself remains blissfully unaware of his fame. That is, until we convince him to do a sequel. Portrayed by: Matt Latham Appears in Personal Quote Joel Schumacher AKA Origin: We here at Lazy Bear have a very special place in our hearts for Joel Schumacher. Doctors have told us it's a malignant tumor and we have less than a month to live. But before we die, we're taking Schu down with us. In 1999, just before the turn of the century (isn't it cool how we can say that now?), Wizard Magazine held a contest asking for short, comic book related films from fans. Ryan and Logan conceived a monster movie parody with the man who crippled the Batman franchise in the starring role. Donning a gray wig, Ryan took the lead and the two set about forcing everyone in their high school to run around and scream like idiots. Unfortunately, they couldn't finish it in time and it ended up as one of the best parts of Logan and Ryan's Wacky Comedy Hour. Portrayed by: Ryan DiGiorgi Appears in Personal Quote Lyle Bunco Origin: Logan created Lyle for two simple reasons: 1) He needed somebody to be on the receiving end of Lazy Bear's first thrown pie, and 2) Sid Sheplar was unavailable. Yes, because the Sheplar trademarked shiny coat had been lost, Lyle Bunco was born. His screen time was minimal, but his status as the first character to be pied in a Lazy Bear film has earned him a spot of honor on this Cheat Sheet. He has a very long speech in Dr. Logan's Day Out, but because it was a silent film, Ryan knew that nothing he actually said would end up in the finished film. So he improved a long string of nonsense including the line “And if you eat a lot of food you’ll get FAT and rich like me!" which cracked Logan up, further cementing Lyle's place in Lazy Bear history. Portrayed by: Ryan DiGiorgi Appears in Personal Quote Li'l Dr. Love Origin: Sure Dr. Love is funny, but wouldn't a much smaller version of him be even funnier? The answer turned out to be a resounding "Why, yes, sir!" Ryan sent the design to his mom and, being the master seamstress that she is, she sent back this work of art. Li'l Dr. Love was one of many attempts to up the comedic ante for a project that had a shot at being aired on Comedy Central. He's one of the few gags from that film that you might see in future projects. Portrayed by: Logan Lee Appears in Personal Quote David the RA Origin: When David Chilton found himself rooming with Logan one year, then acting as both Logan and Ryan's RA the next, he knew it was only a matter of time before he was forced into a role in a Lazy Bear production. David has masterfully played himself in all of the boys' "College Years" projects, acting successfully as both the funny man and comedic foil. Portrayed by: David Chilton Appears in Personal Quote The British Man Origin: The British Man was Logan's invention, created for the first episode of The College Show. Unfortunately, the only Lazy Bear Player that could pull off the role was Alex Mishenko, who already had a role as Alex Brown. So the crew disguised Alex in a fake moustache, stuck him in a closet, and yelled action, hoping for the best. Needless to say, a classic Lazy Bear character was born. He was so popular that the boys wrote him into another episode of the series, expanded his closet world, and gave him recurring character status. Portrayed by: Alex Mishenko Appears in Personal Quote Zippy Origin: Inspired by the nickname given to Areta Davis by Logan and Ryan, Zippy is the Margaret Dumont of the College Show. Portrayed by: Areta Davis Appears in Personal Quote | ||
© 1996- Lazy Bear Productions, All Rights Reserved. | 307 East 8th Street | Apt. 21 | Chattanooga, TN 37403 | E-Mail: LazyBear@lazybearproductions.com | |
Background:
Little is known about the early years of this eccentric doctor
of loooooove. From what historians have been able to piece
together, he has turned up as a romantic advisor in several locations
such as Brentwood High School and the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga.
But the good doctor first came into the public eye when he set up a
practice in the Brentwood Public Library in Brentwood, Tennessee. It
was there that he met his protégée Ryan, whom he helped
defeat an invasion of vicious killer appliances. Unfortunately, he later
revealed that he himself had created the beasts, so when they ultimately
lead to his demise, no one was that upset. Is he dead for good? Only
time will tell.
Background: From the far off land of somewhere other
than America comes noted inventor, vaudevillian, herbalist, prognosticator,
and all-around-helluva-guy Sid Sheplar. Infamous for his many malfunctioning
gadgets, Sid has the distinction of being the guest most often bumped
from the Ed Sullivan show. A record 43 consecutive times, with no successful
appearances. Perhaps this is why he finally decided to seek the representation
of a professional agent and wound up on the doorstep of "Logan's
Talent Agency" where he literally shocked the proprietor with his
wondrous creation, the electric pants. He was soon signed and booked
for a regular gig providing piano accompaniment for Susan Sarandon's
little known lounge act at a local Ramada Inn. We haven't heard much
from him since then, but knowing Sid, he's got something in the works.
Background:
Ryan is a regular guy who often gets caught up in the schemes of his
mentor Dr. Love whom he admires and attempts to emulate. He has the
potential for a successful life, but frequently makes the mistake of
taking the good doctor's less than sage advice. He's often seen with
his best buddy Kyle and his sister Ashley who along with Dr. Love stood
by his side when his house was under siege by an army of rogue appliances
of his mentor's creation. Ryan eventually decided to get a real education
at the University of Tennessee of Chattanooga, but even there he couldn't
escape abnormality, making such friends as Zippy the secret gang member,
and the British Man who lives in his closet.
Background:
Most likely the younger, smarter, and better looking brother of Dr.
Love, Logan has found himself in several different unusual circumstances.
He has been the owner of a talent agency, a mischievous college student,
and a player in a mysterious web of intrigue and package delivery. While
he apparently loves golf (especially when he should be working) and
any way to earn a quick buck, history will remember him as the man who
discovered Sid Sheplar, though he may prefer it didn't.
Background:
Kyle is Ryan's deadpan sidekick who managed to live through the appliance
attack on Ryan's house without actually participating in any meaningful
way, choosing instead to spend most of the ordeal snacking on anything
convenient. He's got a basic loyalty to Ryan and his friends and will
help them when necessary, but his shear "Kyleosity" prevents
him from displaying any particular emotion, no matter the situation.
Background: This master libraryologist probably offered
Ryan and his friends the most help during the appliances turning into
death machines by directing them to the correct section of books for
their vital research. Matt works alongside Dr. Love at the Brentwood
Library, but would probably prefer that information stays classified.
Background: Director of such films as Batman and
Robin, 8MM, and Bad Company, Joel Schumacher
has proven himself time and time again to be evil incarnate. It was
only a matter of time before he fully morphed into a B grade horror
monster and went on a rampage using his horrible power of creative license
to transform innocent citizens into twisted deplorable images of lowbrow
depravity. Schumacher will presumably not rest until he's lowered the
bar of American cinema at least four or five more rungs.
Background: The Axle Company's best salesman, Bunco
is known for his relentless hocking of the top-selling, all-purpose
Format Compaq 73. No matter who you are, he'll give you a convincing
reason to buy one of these amazing little devices. He's been Axle employee
of the month more times than even the Format Compaq 73 can calculate,
but his tendency to solicit mainly to small ramshackle sheds has put
a serious dent in his commission.
Background: A ventriloquist dummy fashioned in the
likeness of the one and only Dr. Love. Where exactly he came from and
what dark and disturbing history the doctor has imbued him with are
unknown. But he and his doppelganger are known to perform their startlingly
unfunny comedy routine when a date begins to go south. As for the various
routines the two perform when alone, well, the less said the better.
Background:
A towering, giant of man, David first appeared as Dr. Love's roommate
during his stint as a romantic advisor at the University of Tennessee
at Chattanooga. He was able to give Ryan valuable info for his documentary
on the Doc's dating ritual. Later he gained the status of resident assistant
and was put in charge of foiling the crazy schemes of Ryan and his new
roommate Logan. A tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, David is certainly
not one of those "happy camper wanna tell ghost stories and roast
marshmallows RA’s", but his aversion to doing any actual
work and his love of a good-natured shenanigan now and then prevent
him from being as effective at his job as he might like.
Background:
Though she appears to be an average college student, her ever-present
bandana and drugged out nickname reveal her true status as a secret
gang member. But she's best known for rolling her eyes and sighing at
Logan and Ryan's ineptitude. Zippy's got a good head on her shoulders,
but what that head looks like beneath her secretly gang-related bandana
may never be known.